Friday, May 28, 2010
Those shorts looked impossibly tiny.
like they couldn't possibly fit my absolutely massive hips.
but a size 0 is like,
24 inch hips.
i'm only 2 and a half inches off.
so i guess i could be a 0.
i mean iduhno,
it's like i always think in my mind of how my weight will correspond with size
130, size 7.
125, size 5.
120, size 3.
115, size 1.
110, size 0.
that's in and around what my size should be compared to my weight
i mean i might not lose all my weight off my hips
but really, there's only maybe 5 pounds total to lose off my upper body.
not counting boobs though haha.
i'm a 32D pree much so there's a bit of weight there.
leaving the rest to be about 10-15 off my hips and legs.
which i would not doubt in the slightest.
because there is alot of fat all along my legs,
and my hips and ass are sooo flub.
what makes me uncomfortable about sex with S
is my fucking fat thighs.
i mean it baffles me that guys love their girlfriends bodies
WHEN THEIR THIGHS ARE HUGER THAN MINE.
because i'm so grossed out by my thighs.
i almost want to bar him from undressing me until i lose another 10 pounds xD
i need to get into regular exercise,
so then at least if i'm eating like a fucking pig,
i'll burn off enough to still be losing.
i think my only problem with being unsatisfied with my weight
is that i am so damn impatient.
i could eat normally,
exercise 3 times a week,
and i'd lose the 15/20 pounds and get down to 110 or so
in like a month or two.
but that's toooo slow for me.
i want it all fucking gone now now now.
OMFG CUTEST FUCKING JACKET EVER AT THE MALL
it was turquoise suede and it had a gorgeous cut and fit
it was an expensive jacket, $300 xD
but oh my god it would be worth every fucking penny.
I WANT IT SO BAD YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW.
i have never wanted a jacket more.
i don't get attached to jackets.
BUT IT WAS TURQUOISE AND FITTED AND GORGEOUS AND BRASS STUDS AND ZIPPERS AND MMMMMM.
haha and omgggg the shoooooes.
when i get a job,
i'm going to have the best wardrobe xD
and i think i want to get a blackberry.
one with a full keyboard mind you.
and one that i know i can easily find sexy cases for.
haha oh god..
i need a job.
i have such expensive tastes.
i don't mean to,
i just realize after that what i like is expensive.
what can i say but i am a Taurus.
I see a gorgeous turquoise suede jacket from across the mall.
run squealing to fondle said jacket.
pet it and exclaim pretttyyyy.
turn over price tag,
and blink unsurprisedly at the 300 dollar label.
I adore vodka,
mixed with anything it is the sexiest booze ever.
one time my friend gave me a shot of vodka she said was amazing.
i decided that was the most amazing godly nectar to pass my lips ever.
it was Grey Goose.
the expensive vodka.
most gorgeous flowers i've ever seen in my life
sooo so pretty, elegant, attractive, unusual, unique,
it's 20 bucks for 1 orchid.
the list goes on and on,
but basically whenever i see something and fall in love with it on sight
it's going to be very expensive.
i have a taste for fine things,
and i just can't seem to be satisfied with any less.
which is why i need a job. xD
i've been writing up a guideline for my path to perfection
after i saw Adeline's post from Vanishing Point
all about elegance and how to be the woman she wants to be
i'll post that when i've written it out better.
I read all you lovely ladies' blogs,
see your pretty names,
be they put on or natural.
and it makes me want to tell you my name sooo baaad.
i adore my name.
at one point i didn't like it because it was too different.
but i've learned to love it for it's uniqueness,
and it really is such a beautiful combination of names.
i wish i could tell you all.
maybe one day.
I guess it shouldn't be too much of a secret,
i wouldn't be surprised if some already knew.
but i'll keep my mouth shut for now.