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I want nothing more than to be that sexy, moody, artistic waif, lounging in a coffeeshop writing poetry, existing off of black coffee and cigarettes.


Monday, May 3, 2010

20 minutes.
17 minutes.
12 minutes.

Get up to make tea.

2 minutes.

Open a new post.

1 minute.

Yea, it's currently 7:59.
i'm not alowing myself to eat after 8 oclock,
especially now that i've read that you shouldn't eat within 3 hours before bed.
cuz that makes you gain weight.

still 7:59.

i can doooo itttt.
i'm not allowed to eat after 8,
i'll gain YES ITS 8


I made chai tea, added a dribble of milk,
half a spoonful of sugar.

guess what i've consumed today lovelies ?

2 tiny bites of cereal.
was running late, so i had to throw the rest out.

and a tumbler of black coffee, with one spoonful of sugar.

I can't even believe I did it.
im so proud of myself,
i never would have believed i could go for a virtually 0 calorie day.
i had never imagined it.

not that i prefer the starve system,
i prefer to eat what i want, but in severe moderation.
like if i want chocolate, i can have one square.
(though i avoid chocolate.)
if i want cereal, 1 cup, or 1/2 a cup.
because then i'm eating,
and since my calorie intake is never the same 2 days in a row,
my metabolism never plateaus.

but today i'm glad i've had a 0 day.
because it's my punishhhmennntttt.

i was doing wellll yesterday.
and so i allowed myself a bowl of ice cream,
and half a tablespoon of this magic shell sauce. mm.

but then i had a bigger bowl, more sauce.
and then i had a bigger bowl, more sauce.

i guess i'll count that now.

okay maybe not.
but i'm pretty sure that the last bowl of ice cream
was more than i'm even reccommended to eat in a day.
so add a bowl about 3/4 that size, and then another of 1/2 the size.
good day goes bad.

but yes, that is the reason for today's 0 day. =]
and then tomorrow, i'll go for under 400.
souunds good to me =D

tomorrow i'm taking BoyS to get his tongue pierced.
and you know what forget it, he's just S,
cuz i hardly talk about GirlS, so now she's demoted to GirlS xD

anyways, i met his best friend ever today, a girl he calls Mikki
(which was a touch odd for me, that's one of my nicknames.)
she's gorgeous, and such a sweet and funnyyy girl haha.
so i'm glad she's his best friend, she's amazing.
haha and his friend BC is great too xD
we saw him after school and he says to me "so how was sex with S ?"
i look at him for a second a touch blankly xD
and then i said hmm .. sub-par.
S turns around and says WELL HEY THERE.
hahhaha Ben says i like this girl !

apparently all his past girlfriends have hated Mikki, which is strange, she's amazing.
haha guess i'm just not the hating, jealous type.
oooonly thing i disapprove of at the moment is that when she hangs out with us,
i don't get him alone,
which means i can't kiss him,
cuz i'm a touch shy about PDA i've found out haha.
soooo that's a bummer.
means i don't get my kiss tomorrow, cuz she's coming for his piercing.
and then i won't get a kiss for another 3 days at least, prolly more like a week
due to the pain of the swelling.
he says he doesn't care, that he will anyways, but i keep telling him trusttt meee ..
you can't kiss. xD it's just too painful and impossible till the swelling goes down more.
we'll see =P

he hasn't kissed me yet because apparently i'm the only girl he's ever been nervous around.
which i did notice xD everytime we were alone he got strange and jumpy haha.
which made me slightly calmer, cuz normally i do that.
but when he is, i'm more calm haha.
he texted me that he wanted to kiss me, but apparently i do make him nervous.
he says he's gonna try and grow some balls. =P

we'll seeee.
i've realized in seeing him again that i REALLY want that kiss.
i still like him, quite a bit, i'm glad.
haha and trust me, i was this close to grabbing him myself.
again, just too shy and nervous =P

i found out that i had to relearn how to blow bubbles with my gum
cuz of my piercings xD
the swelling slightly broke today,
so my left side is almost not swollen,
and my right is half as swollen as before.
by the end of the week they'll be not swollen. ^.^
they're coming along nicely, i'm glad.

yayyyyy 13 minutes in.
no food.
0 day.

did enough walking to burn off whatever was in the cereal,
and then some. =]