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I want nothing more than to be that sexy, moody, artistic waif, lounging in a coffeeshop writing poetry, existing off of black coffee and cigarettes.

GoodEw ?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

I'm still not liking the whole eating thing.

I think what i'll do is follow my previous rules
(which i did follow for dinner tonight)

but also,
i won't eat unless it's something i actually truly want
or if it's actually something really worth eating.

if it doesn't taste good,
i'm not going to troop through it.
it's not worth making it into my body.

you are what you eat,
so if you're going to fill your body with things,
make it the best they can get
our bodies deserve the best.

we deserve the best.

in other words,
that's my way of saying dinner was shit.

we went to boston pizza to get some lasagne,
which turned into getting chicken canneloni
(ew i know chicken.)
and lasagne
(not vegetarian it was actually ew too D= )
and ravioli
(yep pretty sure that wasn't veggie either.
and it wasn't that good.)

baby steps.
i left a bite of ravioli on the plate.
well, two small bites,
one large one.

i took 4 raviolis,
a palm-sized square of lasagne only about a 1/2 inch thick
(yea this was bullshit food i'm telling you.)
and half a canneloni.
and then i had a handful of salad.

i didn't pile my dinner plate full,
but i did push it a touch.

baby steps.

then i had cake.
but i left like, 3 bites of it.
at least.
xD it was sooo chocolatey,
not really that good.

but yea.
i didn't miss eating.

i think i really will follow the 5 bite diet xD
because i don't want whatever it is i'm eating after the first bite really.
i just keep eating it to finish it.
and because i hope it will get better,
and somehow manage to actually satisfy me.
which it doesn't.

so stop looking for satisfaction in food, ladies.
it isn't there.

the creation of a beautiful meal;

painting, drawing, writing a beautiful piece of art;

sexual encounters with attractive people;
VERY satisfying.


look for satisfaction in more emotional and physical ways,
and not in masticating crap.