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I want nothing more than to be that sexy, moody, artistic waif, lounging in a coffeeshop writing poetry, existing off of black coffee and cigarettes.

FoodIntake ?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Naw just kidding.
i'm too chicken. xD
but i'll tell you what i've been eating,
and explain somewhat.

i had a panic attack yesterday because i weighed myself at night
and i was 130 again
but i weighed myself today too and i'm 127 or so.

my eating has been majorly fucked up.
i've got allergies out the yin yang and claritin isn't really helping.
add PMS to that. =P

but i duno.
my stomach feels like grossly stuffed all day
whether i've eaten or not.
but i do continue to eat
it's like i need absolutely need to keep my stomach full and distended
(oh hello tummy paunch which had been shrinking before exams.)

it's like a hunger
it's not like the cravings i've had before where i wanted the taste so i ate
it's a hunger
but not a physical hunger,
i could physically go without food so long
especially now because i'm just not hungry
but it's this wierd mental hunger
like my mind tells me as soon as i've eaten that i'm still hungry
i need to eat again again again

today i had a big bowl of honey nut cheerios for breakfast
and i guess about a cup of spaghetti

then for lunch i had a tuna fish sandwich
and a mini package of cheetos

and then for dinner i've had a bowl of breyer's neapolitan ice cream
and a can of brown beans in maple syrup

i'll probably end up eating more ice cream later
but i duhno
i'm so not hungry
my stomach is beyond full i feel sick all day
but i just keep eating.

least since i've got nothing better to do,
it's only a matter of time before i get bored enough to get back into jogging
and start working out
i haev to go out applying next week damnit.