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I want nothing more than to be that sexy, moody, artistic waif, lounging in a coffeeshop writing poetry, existing off of black coffee and cigarettes.


Monday, June 7, 2010

I hate the lack of garbage cans here in Chilli.
(And I don't mean Chili as in the country fyi xD )

but anyways
they would have saved me from eating 3/4 of a large fries from McD's
though i did leave a bit at the end like i'm trying to do with everything
and B ate a bunch when we were hanging out today
so I ate about 3/4 i think.

and i had half a soy strawberries and creme frappuccino

and now i'm drinking water w. crystal light
and sucking on a baskin robbins ice cream candy
it's mint chocolate and it's 10 calories
i got a pack of mint chocolate and cookies and cream
i figured they can kill alot of my chocolatey and sugary cravings

despite yesterdays slight binge
i was 124 this morning.
my thighs still don't rub when i walk
but fuck i am nowhere near where i need to be.
being back here with mom made me forget slightly
but omfg i just can't let myself go again
i have to keep going i want this so bad
soooo bad.

it was good to see B
we're hanging out again all day tomorrow. =]
we talked about all sorts of things,
alot about our respective relationships
haha little bit of a talk about our sexy lifes ;D
lol but no extreme details
though we probably will get into detail tomorrow xD
god i love the jokes we make to each other.
he can't wait for me to move back next year =P

fuckering eh
whenever i get back into Chilli.,
cuz of all the pollution in the air compared with Pville,
my throat gets all sore and i get a bit sick
so i had a smoke today on my walk to see B
and it burned my throat D=
cuz it hurtssss.

went to Supreme to see if they had any openings
but they're not open til tomorrow =/
so me and B will walk there and hopefully i can make an appointment
and get my tongue pierced sometime this week

for one thing,
i've wanted my tongue pierced for like 3 years.
and for another thing it means i won't be able to eat much
so that'll just be like reinforcement.

ewww my thighs are still soooo fat
bleh bleh squish ewww.
they need to go now haha.
but they'll go away slowly i suppose.

i find it amusing that through some magical mother-daughter telepathy,
when we both bought crystal light the other day
out of all the flavours we could have gotten
we both got the same one,
acai with papaya and something or other
xD we have the same tastes.

rawer i'm tired.

thanks for all your lovely comments ladies =]
i'm still not where i want to be
but i know i can get there
and hten i will be amazing and perfect
i want to be deserving of your wonderful comments.