Monday, June 21, 2010
Biology exam was no sweat.
I'm not worried for my french exam,
i'm just worried that i failed the course.
that would piss me off so much. =/
yeaaa i miss you ladies.
but i'm scared because now i have to catch up on
like at least a week of blogs xD
Daisy got a flea/tick collar today ^.^
mwaha her fur is all bushy and then her neck looks all tiny
i still don't have my goddamn extensions.
somebody's gonna get bitch slapped.
talked to otherC last night actually.
i posted some pictures we had together on facebook in a "theforgotten" album
he commented on one saying he remembered that
and i said yea those were good times
and he was liek yea those were.
i cried xD
i messaged him on fb chat and said hay
and he said hey there
and first thing he did was apologize for how he'd reacted before
iduhno we talked alot,
we both apologized alot
but he forgives me,
and i worked really hard to at least make him kind of understand
he was in the center of my life at a confusing time
and i was very very confused
and i took it out on whoever was close in whatever the easiest way to comprehend was
even if it wasn't true.
he said that a part of him will always love me
and i said that a part of me will always love him too
and he didn't answer for like five minutes.
but i think what's hurt the most about this is he's grown so much from this
i mean i'm glad that i brought back the man i fell in love with
it seems like he's even better than he was before
but he sounded more like the one i remembered,
and that i had fallen in love with.
but he's grown so much from that.
he seems all confident and self assured and just happy
and i'm hurt i suppose because i'm not
he was the one most obviously hurt in this
and i'm the one paying the largest consequences
i'm a fucking mess xD
i was talking to my friend Bobbii,
and i was saying how he got so together and he seemed so in control
and she was like you're the most in control confident beautiful person i know
and i told her that the people who outwardly appear the most controlled
are the ones that are the most fucked inside
because they're the ones who make the most effort to hid the chaos within.
and it's true.
i can't always hide it,
sometimes i'm weak and i just want attention,
someone to hold me and tell me it'll be alright
but i guess i at least never fully open up
that's good at least.
i'm glad me and otherC are good now
hurts a bit.
but i think i got my closure.
S's friend W is so epic xD
we went to a-team last night
and it was friggen amazing
he's the most fun driver,
he's psychotic on the road xD
and i love it of course,
we dropped S off first because my house is like 5 mins away from W's
and me and W got talking,
and he's so fucking awesome xD
he actually has an opinion on Billy Talent,
rather than the typical "oh their new album sucks but they're dece."
and apparently we're gonna have some guitar seshes
and he's gonna teach me some songs haha
i love hanging with him =P
haha i duhno.
i need to get on that job thang.
but i'm scared to get out and apply 0.o
it's rare where i'm confident enough to just go out and apply
and i'm not looking forward to this haha.
hope your summers are starting off amazingly lovelies. =]