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I want nothing more than to be that sexy, moody, artistic waif, lounging in a coffeeshop writing poetry, existing off of black coffee and cigarettes.


Thursday, June 3, 2010

When i grew up,
it was under circumstances worse than more get.
No, i wasn't physically abused
(although my mother was by a couple assholes.)
No, I never lived on the street.

But we were definitely on the poor rather than rich end of the spectrum.
we never had money for anything,
we lived in trailers,
beat down houses with falling-apart roofs.
we ate little to nothing,
and we were never choosy.

i grew up with a taste for anything,
because i was exposed to such variety.

but i also grew up being careful NOT to waste.
finish everything on your plate don't even think of leaving anything.

as i got older i got more leeway.
but it was already habit.

so now,
that's why i can't just eat a little.

but i'm going to use a couple tricks.

1: use a side plate rather than a dinner plate.
2: don't fill it up just because it's a side plate. put proportionate portions on it.
3: leave a bit "for the angels".

the last is something my nana told me about yesterday.
she was grouching good-humouredly
(or not so much ?)
about how my auntie buddy never eats or drinks everything,
she always leaves a tiny bit,
"for the angels".
she said the day she leaves nothing is the day she dies.

i think even just to make sure no matter what no one over eats,
that is a good way to go about it.
and it's a cute habit to get into =]

so there we go.

with these tips,
i can really eat whatever the fuck i want.

and if i'm eating sweets or high-calorie things,
i'm only allowed 5 bites.

don't EVER finish or EVER go back for fucking seconds
unless it's my goddamn birthday.
thats the exception,
on my birthday i'm allowed whatever the fuck cake i want.
that's it =P

i shall do fine.