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I want nothing more than to be that sexy, moody, artistic waif, lounging in a coffeeshop writing poetry, existing off of black coffee and cigarettes.


Saturday, June 5, 2010


I'm gone for one day,
and I come back with 6 new followers !
i now have FIFTEEN.
that's so amazing =]

hello all and i love you to pieces already !

leaving to go stay with mom tomorrow
S just left alittle while ago.
he slept over.

well ...
we didn't really sleep much.
tbh, we got 4 hours of sleep xD

and on a slightly inappropriate side-note,
if you're to use flavoured condoms,
the strawberry flavoured ones actually taste like strawberry.

not that I like ..
sucked on one.
haha i just know that S was intrigued by the fact
that his fingers tasted like strawberries after =P

i got my excel white bubblemint gum again
i missed ittttt haha

fuck yes.
i got canadians. ;D

anyways so yea.
had popcorn yesterday.
not a whole lot,
like maybe 1/4 of the bag,
if that even.
and then i ate a haagen dazs ice cream bar
some chips and salsa
and then i had a little handful of these crunchy covered peanuts
and i had a block of after eight chocolate
and all that day as far as meals went,
i had one applesauce.

so for a weekend,
and a binge,
i didn't eat bad at all.
considering i prolly burned it all of and then some,
lol and in the morning when i showered i was at 123,

i ate an applesauce for breakfast
and then some more peanuts,
about half a chocolate bar,
and for dinner i just had a tofu dog with spicy relish
(i left two bites,
so i ate like 3/4)
and then a couple of french fries.

notttt a bad day at all, really.
considering my weekends have larger allowances.
and the exercise xD
and i just don't have much inclination to eat lately.
i don't enjoy eating,
after feeling how amazing fasting feels.

not only that.
because i've never enjoyed eating per se
but now i just don't want to eat.
i can go a whole day on coffee and an applesauce =P
especially with cigarettes.

so anyways,
i'm in a pretty good mood today.
my stomach is getting flatter.
all of my muscles ACHE LIKE BITCHES
haha i have scratches all down my back ....

and i'll start jogging in chilliwack,
nothing fucking else to do xD

N texted me today.
If i start hanging with her i'll add her back to my characters sidebar.
i think i deleted her before.

only bad thing about last night :
my dahlias cut into the skin all around them on the inside of my mouth
so they're swollen and sore and cut and ouchies.
but i get a week of rest for them,
and i'll do saltwater soaks.

S saw my wrist.
they don't look obvious at the moment
but they're clearly not just old scars.
i'm assuming he doesn't care.
at one point today he even ran his finger over them.

aaaand he joked about how my ass jiggles when he taps it.
then he followed up with
"I wasn't going to say that because i only meant it as a joke
and i didn't want to upset you because i like you the way you are
so you shouldnt change yourself"
and i was like "well i don't like me the way i am so i should.

he made a comment too about love.
he was saying how Mikki told him if he ever says he loves me without meaning it,
she's going to kick his ass.
and i told him even if i said it,
not to say it until he meant it.
i'm the type of person who will blurt out any random comment
at any given time
just so long as i feel i want it to be known.
i just about told him i loved him a couple times.
but i don't want to say it just yet.
I love him,
but do i love him enough to say i love him ?

i'll leave you now darlings.
and i hope you are all doing amazingly in whatever you are doing. =]


If Life Gives You Lemons, Don't Eat Them said...

Your blog is amazing! You deserve us 6 new followers!!

raiinbowAna said...

aweh, thank you so much missy !