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I want nothing more than to be that sexy, moody, artistic waif, lounging in a coffeeshop writing poetry, existing off of black coffee and cigarettes.


Sunday, April 25, 2010

Blehhhhh my stomach hurts soooo baaaaad.
Pretty sure it shrunk while i was dieting,
and then yesterday and today have been like FOOD FOOD from everyone
so i'm just siiiick, and i gained back to 131. =/
soooo i have to start again. n
this sucks.
yesterday i had this real chocolate (probably uber fattening) ice cream bar,
sushi, and 3/4 of a huge fatty poutine.
today i had a cupcake, cereal, and sushi again.

i guess not as bad as i though,
but lotssss of calories,
and my stomach has been screaming at me.

went on that date with A.
she bought me flowers,
she MADE like PICKED OUT a bouquet for me of all my fave flowers.
with cupcakes she made, and a card.
and skating was sooo fun,
then we watched scary movies in her bed after sushi at tokyo grill,
and then just slept.
we held hands most of the day,
but we didn'tkiss.

i'm kinda glad, because i really don't feel any connection with her.
she's amazingg, and funny, and fun.
but i don't feel that spark.
and i'm just not the kind of person to date someone i don't feel that with.
fuckkk. i feel so bad.

What's worse, and more confusing,
is i'm thinking i'm developing feelings for S.
i mean fucking come on.
He's a guy.
Jeepers, i have to come up with another nickname for him
because i already have a girl S,
and now there's boy S.

hope everyone's doing well.
i'm gonna crash out and sleep all of this off.