Tuesday, April 12, 2011
yay me. =]
now if only i could stop fighting with S about this.
i've grown up in a female dominant family,
and i already feel protective of my not-really-there-yet bump.
over-protective. fiercely so.
and selfish. i really don't wanna share her.
i know i will.
but fuck, i just wish someone would let me be selfish.
s wants to redeem his childhood by being an amazing father
except he's making it into a contest.
and i hate it.
i wanna kick him in the fucking teeth and tell him
get lost it's all mine.
i can't though, i guess.
it'd be more helpful if he didn't want it,
to be honest.
mom wants him to move in.
i don't, because we'll just fight incessantly.
i just keep crying and getting stressed out.
i'm so tired all the time.
and i'm so so scared i'll lose this baby.
i find myself stroking my tummy protectively all the time.
i'm bipolar, from the hormones.
i'm not myself.
but i'm myself and a baby.
wanna hear my names ?
I really want a girl, (Porcelain Dahlia, called Portia or Dolly)
but my boy name is kickass. (Harley Laken Scott, but called Laken.)
i would love to see a boy made by me,
but i wanta girl so so bad.
so much more fun, and i'm so girly,
just please give me a girl.
i'll have my boy later.
all the other girls are having girls,
so please let this be the only trend i follow.
so excited. <3